The Pact
by Becca Bing
Summary: Ross, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey are 40 and unmarried. Remeber how the guys became the girls' backups? Do they? Please r/r, thanks:)
1. Chapter 1

**_The Pact_** – chapter 1

Woopie, I'm back! I'm actually still away for 2 more days, but I have no life, even away from home, plus, I was sick, so I finally wrote a new fic. I've also been inspired to write ever since I wrote the last a/n for me and Yen's fic (it's called What's Love Got to Do With it? In case you're interested - Hey Yen!) Ok, I have to warn you all – this is quite unlike my other fics. How? One may wonder if they have no already figured it out. Well, it's not Chandler and Monica *hears collective gasps* I know, I know! *cries* I just couldn't do this to Chandler and Monica! Lol, kidding. I just had this idea that seemed "perfect" for the other four – and yes, I do occasionally care about the others! Ok, this takes place 10 years after 6th season (the "16 season" if you need to see it that way) and the friends are now 40 (ish). Remember in tow the proposal how Ross became Rachel's backup and Joey became Phoebe's? Well, now that they're all 40 and unmarried, will they go through with it? Please read and review. I'm incredibly nervous about this fic, since it's not C&M…I'm not sure how it'll be received. Please put me at ease!:) 

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of these characters, aside from Chandler and Monica's children…although only one of them is actually called by their name in this chapter. *gasps* who am I?! Oh, and Julie, the name is **not **Clay and Clay does not, I repeat, does **not **appear in this chapter. I know, I was upset, too *rolls eyes* 

It was Rachel Green's 40th birthday, yet she tried her hardest not to think about it. How could she be 40 already?! She had a child who was only 8 years old…yet she was 40. She felt _old_. Perhaps, the age of 40 wasn't truly old, and sure, other women her age had children younger than hers, but it still seemed that way. She had always imagined she'd be married before she turned 30 – 10 years before this day. As much as she loved her daughter, Emma, Rachel couldn't stop herself from thinking, _My kids should be in junior high now_.   

Still, there was no time to sulk about her age. Instead, she plastered on her most false of smiles as she eased into the day with food, presents and chatting. Now, she was sitting around a rectangular dining room table with five of her closest friends, although no one was talking. The only couple in their close-knit group of friends – Chandler and Monica Bing– was holding her birthday party at their house.

Rachel had pleaded with Monica not to make a big deal out of such an insignificant (yet depressing) day in her life. However, Monica didn't see birthdays in the same light as Rachel. To Monica, it wasn't about getting older. Instead, they served as a chance for Monica to show off her 'amazing' (the others would argue, if they could) hosting skills. And, since they were the only ones who had moved out of the city, therefore owned a comfortable sized suburban home, Monica had ample reason to be the hostess. 

_Why don't I own a home? _Rachel wondered bitterly. Ross should buy her and Emma one. No, he'd insist on living with them. She didn't want that...did she? She had tried not to think about it, but Ross _was _her backup friend. And, in case of a non-marriage disaster, (as her life was rapidly plummeting into) she could turn to him. Maybe she'd bring it up casually later… 

She inhaled sharply as she was startled out of her depressed daze by a loud, childish screech from upstairs. Monica rose from her chair and Chandler cringed slightly, ready to help solve the problem. However, Rachel held her hand out in protest, claiming she would check on the source of the racket - anything to get out of the thick, awkward air of aging. 

Ross Geller watched Rachel leave the table and couldn't help but envy her. They'd been sitting in an uncomfortable silence for…what was it? Ten minutes? Ross looked down at his watch. _12 minutes, actually, _he realized dully. Twelve minutes of complete silence. What had happened to them? They used to _always _have something to say (whether or not it was important) to each other. It was as if they could never shut up. Were they growing apart? _No, _Ross decided, _We're not growing. _He looked away, _Or are we? _That was one puzzle he actually didn't feel like doing. The results would only depress him.

He looked over at Chandler, who was finishing up a piece of cake. Who would've ever thought that his geeky, former college roommate - the one who usually repelled women - would be the first of the guys to get married and actually stay married?! It was beginning to become shameful. Ross' mother actually gloated about _Monica_, instead of Ross,for a change! There was something very wrong about that. 

It wasn't fair. He wanted a wife. Anyone would do at this point, as long as he wouldn't die alone. A thought struck Ross suddenly. Hadn't he made a pact – a while back – to marry Phoebe, if they both were 40 and single? He had…hadn't he? It was so long ago – too long ago – wasn't it with Phoebe? Oh no, it wasn't her. It turned out she had been double crossing him. He looked over at Rachel, who was now trekking down the stairs, holding a crying, 5-year-old girl. It was Rachel! 

Joey Tribianni was _bored_. They had been sitting in silence for a while now. He was at the point in his boredom where he was ready to rip off his fingernail, just so he could shoot it at Chandler. _Hell, that would give us something to talk about! _Still, Joey restrained himself. From the looks of everyone else, they were in no mood to take part in his childish pranks. He didn't think they were childish, of course, but everyone else did. They also claimed that, at 41 years old, you don't build with the creamers at diners. He, on the other hand, didn't understand what was so wrong with that. They were 40, not 80. 

Not yet, anyway. 

Oh no, they were really getting older now! At least at 35, he could cover up the few strands of hair that fell out of his head, but now – well, now his hairline was obviously growing thinner. Some days, he'd stare at the mirror for hours on end, just gaping blankly at his reflection and waiting for the day he no longer had _any _hair to look at. 

But, it wasn't only the hair. Women were harder to get now. Twenty year olds refused to date him anymore! He wasn't sure why, but he remembered Chandler saying something about older guys only getting younger women if they had loads of money to throw around. Well, Joey had a good amount of money, although it was getting harder to find jobs ever since he was fired off Days of Our Lives for 'misconduct with string cheese'. Chandler was probably wrong about the money attracting girls, though. Chandler was wrong about a lot of things, although he never thought he was. 

_Guess it's all part of getting older, _Joey thought with a sigh. There was no use denying it, like he had every other year. They were, in fact, growing older. It was time to face the facts. He looked at Phoebe as she yawned. Wasn't he supposed to marry her or something? He had this vague recollection…

Phoebe Buffay yawned and stretched. This party sure wasn't any fun. She would have to think of an excuse to leave early soon or else she might die of sheer boredom. Was it just her imagination or were her friends getting more boring by the year? She glanced at Chandler, who was snoring lightly, and rolled her eyes as Monica poked him in the rib, causing him to jump. 

Still, they were happy together – Chandler and Monica. Phoebe had predicted the couple would be divorced by now. Well, she couldn't be right _all the time_, now could she? Yet, she couldn't help but feel slightly jealous of their marriage. It wasn't that she wanted to get married. Well, not badly, anyway. After all, she had ended things with Mike four years ago because they were getting too serious. She regretted that, but the gravity of their relationship had scared her. If he had asked her to marry him now, would she have declined? Probably not…

She was lonely. That was the main problem. She hadn't felt lonely before. In fact, she rather enjoyed living alone. But now…now she was feeling scared and vulnerable – like a child without his safety blanket – and it was all because she was alone. What could cure that - A roommate, perhaps? _Yeah, but who wants a 41 year old roommate?! _She thought bitterly. The truth was, the only way she'd be able to finally break free of her solitude would be though marriage.

Chandler stood up, stretched his legs for a moment, and then began to clear the table of the dishes. Monica, who was holding their youngest daughter, Allison, in her arms, rose a few moments after him, muttering something about getting the kids to bed. And it really was getting late. The other four friends saw this as their perfect excuse to finally leave. 

"Mon," Rachel began slowly, "We really _should _get going."

"Yeah, it's late," Ross continued, "Emma needs to get some sleep, and so do your kids."

"And Chandler," added Phoebe.

"Yes, and Chandler!" Chandler agreed, as he re-entered the dining room, wearing plastic yellow dish gloves.

Monica frowned. "But we hardly ever get together anymore…"

"Yes, but we've been together _all _day!" Ross complained, "And my head _really _hurts."

"I have Advil," Monica muttered.

"Come on, Sweetie," Chandler persuaded, "We can have them over again soon."

Monica looked at Chandler and smiled slightly, while the rest, standing behind her, shook their heads violently. Chandler stifled a laugh.

"Okay…"

"Tha'da girl."

The four friends quickly exchanged good-byes with Chandler and Monica, careful not to wake their three sleeping children, and left the house. When they began walking down the street, Rachel let out a huge sigh.

"Is anyone else _ecstatic _to get outta there?"

The other three mumbled yeses and laughed. 

"I felt bad for Monica though…she really misses living near us."

"Yeah, but I mean she and Chandler are happily married. She'll get over it," Phoebe reminded Rachel.

"True."

"I wouldn't worry about Monica," Ross comforted, carrying Emma as she dozed lightly on his shoulder.

"Yeah, but I kinda miss having Chandler around," Joey added.

"I miss Monica, too," Rachel lamented, "Guess things just…aren't the same anymore, huh?"

The crowd mumbled yeses once again, this time, however, not laughing. They had all been thinking the same. Silence overtook the small group, as they continued to walk down the block. It wasn't as uneasy as it had been at the party, but the silence still was thick. It definitely was not the ambience of four young, careless best friends, anymore. After five minutes, Phoebe cleared her throat, breaking the dreary mood. Everyone looked at her expectantly, hoping she would say something to end that ongoing silence.

"So, does anyone else remember how we decided on backups the day Monica and Chandler got engaged?"

The crowd mumbled collective yeses yet again, although, this time, slightly nervous. None of them, aside from Phoebe, had the courage to discuss it, although they had all been thinking of it. Silence fell once again, as the rhythmic sounds of shoe soles hitting the ground filled the air.  

"We weren't serious," Rachel wondered aloud, "Were we?"

The gang stopped and exchanged glances. Had they been serious? 

Well, there's the first chapter. Should I continue? Does anyone care? Please review, thanks! (Gosh, I'm nervous) 


	2. Chapter 2

**_The Pact_** – Chapter 2

Guess who drove 3 times since Sunday! Whoo! Driving is so cool! I even got to drive on the roads yesterday when I drove with my dad (mom's too nervous, lol…can't imagine why). I got to do this really dark, curvy road and yeah, it was cool! Sorry, dumb 16-year-old rambling. And, Yen, hope your arms feel better, hun.:'( *pokes volleyball with a fork* Ok, anyhow, OMG thank you for all the reviews! I'm in shock, seriously. You all rock! This chapter's a bit slow, but it's setting everything up. And, don't worry, I'm not just gonna have them get married and live happily ever after. *smiles deviously* Remember, nothing's as it seems…

Monica stood rooted to her spot, cookbook in her hands, gaping wordlessly at Rachel and Phoebe. She was shocked, that was certain. During the few moments that her mind processed the information given to her, Rachel squirmed nervously in her seat. It was completely unlike Monica to be silent. She was opinionated to the point that she normally would go to all lengths to allow her opinion to be the first and loudest one stated. However, she expressed nothing, aside from this blank stare. It was killing Rachel. 

"Monica?" Phoebe tried, "Aren't you gonna say something?"

"Great," Monica squeaked after a moment.

"That's all?" Rachel wondered angrily, "That's all you have to say when we tell you that four of your best friends are getting married?!" 

"Well, what do you want me to say?"

"I don't know…but more than an unenthusiastic 'great'!"

"Yeah, how about, 'I'm happy for you' or 'oh, how exciting!' I mean we were excited for you and Chandler," Phoebe demanded.

Phoebe was getting angry now. Why did they have to tell Monica to begin with? She should appreciate that they were telling her at all, instead of judging them. After all, she and Chandler were the ones who left them, not the other way around. They didn't have to include them anymore. Still, just because their group wasn't as close as they used to be, it didn't mean Monica had any right not to be enthusiastic. _I wonder if she's jealous,_ Phoebe thought, _After all, she's always had her eye on Joey… _ 

"Ok, you want the truth?! The truth is…this is _insane!_ Chandler and I are a totally different story! We dated for like two years before we even got engaged!"

"Way to be supportive," Rachel huffed.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna support something as utterly...insane…as this!" 

"What's so insane about it?"

"You're friends…not dating."

"So?"

"So? Marriage is about love and feelings and…not backups."

"Who says we don't have love and feelings for our guys?!" Rachel argued.

"Well, do you?"

"Umm…well, I used to be in love with Ross…"

"Used to doesn't cut it."

"Oh, what do you know, anyway?"

"A lot! I'm the only one who's married and _still _married! Listen to me - it _won't _work." 

Rachel was fuming. How dare Monica tell them that! She didn't know what it felt like to be alone. She was married! Monica had found "that guy". What about her and Phoebe? They had nobody. They were on the path to 'old-maidhood'. Monica couldn't understand. They should have never assumed she would. 

"You know what, Monica, you just don't get it!"

"Get it? I don't get it?!" Monica paused, "Fine, then explain."

Phoebe exhaled sharply. "You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

"We don't want to die alone, that's what."

"Oh come on. You won't die alone."

"Easy for you to say," Rachel screamed, "You're not alone!"

Monica shook her head furiously and threw down the cookbook she had been unconsciously holding. Then, she opened the kitchen door and called anxiously into the living room for Chandler.

Chandler groaned as he entered. "I don't want to be in the kitchen. I thought you said I didn't have to help ton—"

"Rachel's marrying Ross."

"What?"

"And Joey's marrying Phoebe."

Chandler's eyes darted from Rachel, to Phoebe, then to Monica. "What?!" he demanded in a high-pitched shout. 

"That's right," Monica answered smugly. 

Phoebe's hands unconsciously formed tight fists on her lap. Monica was so happy that Chandler was just as shocked and opposed as she had been. Of course Chandler would be on her side. He always was. _She'd probably beat him up if he wasn't_, she thought spitefully. Oh well, she could always work on Chandler, when Monica wasn't around to influence him. It was Monica she had to worry about now. 

"Were you guys even dating?!" 

Neither woman answered for a minute. The silence was tense. Rachel noted that Monica looked as if a vain was about to pop in her forehead. She never thought that Monica would be _angry _about them getting married. Sure, she'd expected shocked and maybe even opposed to the idea at first, but angry? She had no right to be. It wasn't her life, as much as she considered everything to be her business. 

"Well…sorta…" Phoebe finally replied. 

"How were you _sorta _dating?" Monica challenged.

"Um, well, we were friends…"

Chandler raised his eyebrows. "And…"

"And…decided to get married."

"See!" Monica shouted, "It's insane!"

"Oh come on, Mon!" Rachel added angrily, "Remember when we were younger…before you and Chandler got married? You were afraid that you wouldn't _ever _get married. Don't you remember that?!"

"Well, yeah…"

"And, you didn't _ever _get _so _desperate that you at least _thought _about asking one of your guy friends to be your backup?"

"I never had that."

"Ya know, I offered to be your backup," Chandler reminisced, "Twice, actually."

"See!" Phoebe pointed at Monica, "See!"

"See what?! I never accepted." 

"Yeah, the first time I offered for us to have a baby together when we were 40 and then I made Monica cry," Chandler said casually, in between bites of an apple, "And the second time, I offered to be her boyfriend and she turned me down."

Phoebe giggled. "Funny how that worked out, huh?"

Monica frowned. 

"See, Mon, it ended up working out that way, anyway, for the two of you."

"I still think it's a bad idea."

"Well, there isn't much you can do about it." 

Then, Rachel stood up and left the kitchen angrily. Once they heard the front door slam shut, Phoebe got the picture. She stood up, shot Monica a disappointed look, and also exited the house. Chandler and Monica stared wide-eyed and silently at each other for a few moments. 

"Ya know, you didn't have to be so harsh," Chandler criticized lightly.

"Well, they're being stupid about this. It isn't going to work."

Chandler shrugged. "Just let them figure it out for themselves."

Monica shook her head and stared at Chandler deviously.

"Oh no," he backed up slightly, "I know that look…"

"Please?"

"No. No meddling. We always end up getting in trouble."

"If you love me, you'll do this."

Chandler groaned. "You _always _have to play the 'love card' don't you?"

Monica nodded and smiled smugly towards Chandler. 

He sighed. "I'm meeting the guys tomorrow for lunch. I'll talk to them then, okay?"

"Okay."

Monica wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed Chandler softly on the lips. However, they jumped apart when there was a loud crash coming from upstairs. 

"I swear they get that from you!" Monica yelled, pointing her finger at him, "I _never _make messes."

"I'm on it." 

Rachel and Phoebe were completely silent on the ride home. They were both too busy contemplating the events of the past few days – their sudden decisions to get married and Monica's reaction, mostly. It wasn't until they were walking up the stairs to Rachel's apartment (formerly Monica and Chandler's apartment) that Rachel broke the silence. 

"I think we should marry our guys as soon as possible."

"Really? Why?"

"Because you know Monica's gonna send Chandler out to try to change Joey and Ross' minds."

"Yeah…so what?"

"So what? We havta get married before she succeeds, that's what!"

"Oh, I see what you're getting at..."

"Uh-huh!" Rachel shook her head incredulously, "What a friend."

"I know, really!"

"You don't think she's right…do you?" 

"No."

Rachel sighed in relief. "Of course she's not."

"No! Ya know, Monica's not as smart as she thinks she is."

"Totally."

The two of them laughed for a minute, and then, silence again. _Monica isn't right, _Phoebe decided, _Of course not. _This was something they needed to do. They had to get married – right? Of course they did. Everything would be fine. She and Joey had been friends for years. It would be like friendship…but instead of calling Joey her friend, she would refer to him as her husband. That was all – right? 

Phoebe stopped in the middle of the hallway and took out a small, silver cell phone. Then, she turned around and headed back down the stairs. Rachel stopped and stared at Phoebe's retreating figure before calling out to her.

"Wait! Where are you going?"

"To City Hall." 

"What?!"

Phoebe stopped and turned around, as Rachel caught up to her. "That's right. It's time to get _married._" 

"Oh!" Rachel enthused, "Whoo!" 

"Yeah baby!"

"See," Rachel elbowed Phoebe, "You and Joey are gonna get along great!"

Phoebe smiled. "Ok, let's move it, move it, move it!"

"Right!" 

Rachel and Phoebe then made their way down the stairs, grinning anxiously the entire way. 

Joey shuffled nervously back and forth. He was getting _married. _It was a lot to take in. After all, only three days before, he had been living the life of a single man and enjoying it to it to its fullest. A part of him didn't want to get married and ruin that. After all, Joey was known for his luck with women, yet he rarely dated them for more than a few months. True, he was getting older and it probably wasn't the healthiest manner for him to behave in, but it had become _him_. By getting married, he was completely changing his personality. 

Still, he had made a promise to Phoebe and he intended on keeping it. She was one of his closest friends and he loved her. Often, she was the only one who understood him. While the rest of the gang would leave him out and make fun of him just because he wasn't as intelligent as the rest of them, Phoebe never made him feel neglected or dumb. He appreciated that. 

He took a deep breath and then looked at Ross. Ross didn't seem nervous at all. Then again, it was Ross. He was an expert at marriage now. Hell, he'd been married three times – and one of those times it was to Rachel! Besides, Ross didn't get all that many dates to begin with. He wasn't giving up all that much by plummeting into the world of the married. 

For a fleeting moment, Joey wondered why he wasn't marrying Rachel. He almost slapped himself at that thought. After all, he and Rachel were _over_. It had been one kiss, one night, and then…it was over. Joey shuddered. He couldn't think about Rachel – not now. They had hurt each other too much, although they pretended everything was normal again. No, it was better this way. Joey and Phoebe – a clean slate, a new beginning. Well, almost, anyway. 

"Joey, you nervous?" Ross wondered, as he studied Joey.

"Nervous? Me? No. Of course not. Do I seem nervous?"

"Whoa, slow down."

"Sorry. I guess I'm a little nervous…"

"Don't be. Marriage is like…friendship…except you live with the person…all the time. Eat at the same kitchen table, watch the same television, perhaps…sleep in the same bed…"

"And have sex, right?" Joey asked, a panicked look on his face.

"And have sex," Ross agreed, monotonously. 

"Ok, phew. Scared me there for a second."

"Do you really think it's wise to just start having sex right away?"

"Uh, yeah. What else are honeymoons for?"

"What about getting to know Phoebe better?"

"Dude, I've known Phoebe for like…" Joey started counting on his fingers, but, after a few seconds, became frustrated, "A long time!"

"But, do you _really_ know her?"

Joey raised his eyebrows. "Uh, _yeah_."

Ross sighed loudly. "Never mind."

Finally, Rachel, wearing a long, white skirt and white blouse, and Phoebe, wearing a sleeveless yellow dress with a big, silver pin that had chains dangling from it (she claimed white was too cliché for her and the pin was just "really cool"), entered the courtroom. Joey took in a deep breath as Phoebe called him over. They were going first. Apprehensively, Joey offered Phoebe his arm, and, after giggling, she took it and the two moved towards the judge. 

As Ross and Rachel sat in the back, acting as witnesses for their friends' marriage, Ross began to chew on his lip nervously. He looked at Rachel, who seemed to be completely calm. Ross had been calm…before. But now, as he watched Joey and Phoebe, butterflies formed in his stomach. He was getting married…again. Would this one work? He and Rachel hadn't dated for years. What if they had drifted apart too much to ever get back into "that place". _Is it even about "that place," _Ross wondered. After all, this was just getting married for the sake of marrying someone, not for love. But was that really so bad? The first two times he married for love, yet what had that left him with? _A lesbian and an angry British woman, that's what. _

This was insane, sure it was. But maybe it would work. A marriage based purely on friendship. No love, no feelings, no fears of betrayal – just friendship, tweaked a bit. Maybe it was what he needed all along. A smile danced on his parched lips as he heard the judge finalize Joey and Phoebe's marriage. 

Rachel pulled on his arm as Emma clapped her hands excitedly. _Well, at least Emma's getting a real family. _He looked at his daughter for a moment, eyes gleaming with unbridled joy, and couldn't help but smile. He was doing the right thing – not only for himself and Rachel, but for their daughter, as well. 

It was really happening. 

"Dying in America, at the end of the millennium, we're dying in America to come into our own" Ee! I love Rent! I saw it on Broadway a few weeks ago and I just got the soundtrack and…eep! I love it! *breathes* Anyways, I've yet to type up my next chapter (I've been handwriting them first, although I never used to *shrugs*), but it'll be up sooner if people still wanna read this fic. So, now that I've totally scared you all off by being my normal freaky obsessive self, please leave me a review. Thanks!:)


	3. Chapter 3

**_The Pact_**-Chapter 3

Hey all! Thanks for the lovely reviews again! If you don't see ur review up, however, it's because ffnet went through some errors (surprising, eh?) and it was never posted. However, I did see the reviews and thank you so much!:) Hmm, what else is on the agenda? Oh yes! You'll all notice that my pen name is changed from "Becca" to "Becca Bing". Not a huge change, I know, but I just want to make sure ya'll know it's me.;) Due to recent policy change at ffnet, it was either completely change my pen name or become Becca7. Now, as much as I adore the #7 (as does Monica) I didn't really want it with my pen name. Plus, Bing is just cool cuz it's Bing. Need I explain more?:p Oh and Gracie3 (was ur name just Gracie before ffnet changed its policy? Lol) if u're still reading this, omg!! Rent! Whoo! Ok, so while I was reading ur review, u had typed out the words to 'Rent' (the actual song) and **as I was reading them**,** I had been listening to them**! It that not so ironic?! I was gonna send u a scary-ass e-mail about it, but then I didn't cuz I scare people like that and u havta be in that hyper-random e-mail type mood to send one…ya know? That mood usually comes to me at 12 am on a Saturday night, actually. And, snipah higgins, if u're still reading, yes, I've seen the Newsies, but it was a _long _time ago (5th grade music class, to be exact). Lol, sorry, I know, I'm disappointing.:( Wow, this a/n is long – sorry. Well, please read and review, thanks!:)

**__**

Ross entered his apartment with a huge, cardboard box in his arms. Sweat beads gathered on his forehead and he contorted his red face in pain as he dropped the box on the ground at his feet. Upon noticing the words "Fragile" written on the box in big black letters, he bit his lip and backed away from the box slowly. He gasped, startled, when he heard a feminine yelp. He turned around only to realize he had backed directly into Rachel. She held a scornful look on her face as she placed a blue lamp on a table near the door. Ross looked back at her sheepishly. 

"Is that the last box?" he questioned. 

"Yes, finally!" Rachel sighed, exasperated. 

"Ha, you sound like _you _were the one who dragged 500 pairs of boots a across the street and up to the apartment."

"Hey! That lamp was pretty heavy!" off his unconvinced look, she mumbled, "And I don't have 500 pairs of boots."

"Fine, 499."

Rachel shook her head reproachfully although she chuckled lightly. She was relived that Ross hadn't complained much about moving her possessions alone. After all, he was prone to whining excessively, at times. Still, Rachel felt guilty for forbidding Ross to ask Chandler for help. However, if he had asked Chandler for help, that would've involved Monica, and Rachel wasn't quite ready to speak to Monica again, although she was excited to see how Monica would react to their speedy marriages, since she was against them getting married – ever.  

As Rachel moved towards her bedroom, Emma bounced into the living room, beaming from ear to ear. Rachel couldn't remember a time when Emma had been as happy as she was at that moment. Rachel smiled at Ross, who was grinning at their daughter, and then she turned towards Emma. 

"So, you're really married to mommy?" Emma asked Ross, incredulously. 

Ross knelt down, so that he was at Emma's eye level. "You betcha." 

Emma giggled and jumped into her father's arms. Then, she scrambled out of Ross' arms and tugged on Rachel's arm, until she was standing next to them. 

"You have to kiss daddy," Emma stated confidently.

"You know what," Ross laughed nervously, "How 'bout another time?"

Emma gave him a disappointed look, "But they do it on TV."

Ross sighed and looked at Rachel helplessly. She shrugged in return and planted a soft kiss on Ross' lips. Emma clapped and hugged her mother gratefully. 

"Okay, now you havta do private mommy and daddy stuff."

Ross coughed. "What?"

"I dunno. Danielle told me that's what her mommy and daddy do."

"Well, Aunt Monica and Uncle Chandler aren't normal," Rachel spat.

Ross elbowed Rachel gently. "Okay, mommy and daddy will do our private mommy and daddy…stuff. You go into your room and play, okay?"

"Okay," Emma agreed as she skipped giddily to her bedroom.

Once she was out of sight, Ross and Rachel shared horrified looks.

Phoebe sat in the black barkalounger in Joey's living room. She looked to her left and then her right, before spinning around and crying, "wheeee!" a few times.

Joey exited his bedroom and smiled. "Ok, all the boxes are in our room."

Phoebe spun around once more before rising, wobbling slightly on her legs. She entered the bedroom and sighed, not in the mood to unpack. For a split second, she thought of calling Monica, but then remembered they were fighting. However, as soon as she opened her box, Joey re-entered the bedroom and tapped on her on the shoulder. 

"So," he began suggestively, "Wanna consummate our marriage?"

"How do you know the word consummated?"

"I dunno, how do _you _know the word consummated?"

"Hmm…good point…" 

Phoebe studied Joey for a moment. Even though they were technically married, she was a bit weary of sleeping with him. They weren't in love or anything. Then again, maybe sex would change that. After all, didn't something like that happen to Chandler and Monica? Plus, they were already sharing a bed. It was expected, right?

"Okay…"

"Really?!"

Joey was surprised at her answer. He had thought it would take more wearing down than that in order to get her to agree. Phoebe had her principles – in her own, strange way. Still, as he stared at Phoebe, she showed no signs of backing down.

"Looks like I definitely married the right woman!"

Phoebe giggled flirtatiously, while Joey walked over to her. He smiled back and tucked a lose strand of blond hair behind ear, then kissed her neck softly. Phoebe rolled her head back and sighed, before Joey whispered in her ear.

"Are you sure? We can stop, I promise."

"I'm sure."

Joey smiled slightly and kissed Phoebe her lips. Then, he laid her down softly on the bed, before climbing on top of her. 

"If you're sure…"

Ross and Rachel sat next to each other at their kitchen table. The room was almost completely dark, aside from the candles that illuminated the room with a soft, yellow glow. Ross looked at Rachel and smiled, not looking away until she smiled back at him. Then, they both looked down at their plates of food again. 

They had decided to take things slow – tonight was their first date. Rachel shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Something felt strange about their date, although she couldn't put her finger on it. Perhaps, it was the fact that they hadn't dated in over 10 years. She found herself wanting to finish eating and leave. Of course, she technically couldn't leave. They lived together now. 

What was wrong with her? Why did she only love Ross at the wrong times – like while he was dating Julie or right before he married Emily? Now, she had the chance to love him as a husband and she couldn't. Well, she'd have to pretend, wouldn't she? 

Ross was slightly nervous. Of course, he had dated Rachel in the past, but it was never as crucial as it was now for them to fall in love – again. He looked up at Rachel and began to wonder if they had ever fallen out of love to begin with. He still had feelings for her, although not as strong as they once were. 

Maybe he was just hiding his feelings before because he thought he'd never have the chance to be with her again. Well, if that was the case, now was the time to let that love grow once again. Ross leaned in and slipped his hand in hers. Rachel sighed, and Ross eyed her questioningly.

"How do you like the dinner?" Ross asked softly.

"Yeah, it's great," Rachel answered distractedly. 

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine…it's just…today was a long day with the moving and all that."

"Oh."

Rachel rose from her spot. "I think I'll do the dishes and then go to bed."

"No, I've got the dishes – just go to bed."

She smiled slightly. "Thanks, Ross."

"You're welcome."

Ross briefly wondered whether or not he should kiss her, but before he even got the chance, she had retreated to her bedroom. He frowned and picked up the dishes. Hopefully, their next date would go better. 

Phoebe lay wrapped in Joey's arms beneath the sheets on their bed. He was running his hand up and down her arm groggily. Phoebe shifted uncomfortably, not really paying attention to her surroundings. 

"You okay?" Joey questioned.

"Mmhmm."

"You sure? You seem like you're on some distant planet or…something…"

Phoebe forced herself out of her daze and looked at Joey. "I'm fine. Really."

Phoebe then planted a soft kiss on Joey's lips, "You were quite good."

Joey smiled proudly, "I know."

Phoebe laughed and then silence fell upon the couple once more. 

After ten minutes, Joey fell asleep. Sleep, however, didn't come as easily to Phoebe. So, she got out of bed and headed towards the kitchen. She opened the refrigerator and grabbed a carton of milk. However, she noticed a bottle of wine in the refrigerator. She picked it up and held it in her right hand, while she held the milk in her left. 

After a minute, she sighed and replaced the wine bottle in the refrigerator. Then, she poured the milk into a pot and began to boil it. As she waited for the milk to boil, she found herself unconsciously opening the refrigerator door once more. This time, she grabbed the wine bottle and poured herself a glass, filled to the brim. One glass wouldn't hurt. In fact, maybe it would _help_ her get to sleep. She took the glass of wine and sat on the barkalounger, turning on the television and staring at it blankly, realizing she would, in fact, be up all night. 

Ok, I promise I'm getting to the good stuff. I just had to get this outta the way, lol. Yen, where are u?! Get online! I havta tell u how the alarm went off on me today in my house and the police came and I was in my pajamas and my capn crunch went soggy! Hehe, oh wait, I just told u the entire story.... lol. Anyways, thank you all for reading and please leave me a review, thanks! To be continued soon…(damn drivers ed takes away my writing time – 3 days a week, 3 hours a day, 3 weeks of classroom sh.it *pokes it with a fork*)


	4. Chapter 4

**_The Pact_**-chapter 4

_I love lazy summer days. Yup, it's 3 PM, yet I'm still in my pajamas. I really should get dressed though. My mom gets mad at me when she sees that. Oh, and I havta clean cuz we're having family over to celebrate all the summer birthdays (summer not meaning my b-day in June, but July, Aug., and Sept., apparently) I don't feel like it.:/ Anywho, thanks for the great reviews last chapter! You all are amazing!:) Please read and review this chapter, thanks! Just remember…thanks are never quite as they seem. *smiles deviously* _

**_This chapter is dedicated to the amazing Clay Aiken. Thanks to him, there is an endless supply of llama-based, toenail biting-virgin jokes. Well, actually, this chapter is really dedicated to my lil' Yen-a-len, who's away for a week *cries* but we can pretend it's Clay so that Julie doesn't slit my throat.;) _**

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Joey and Ross sat on opposite ends of the orange couch in Central Perk. Ross' body was turned in the direction opposite Joey, as he attempted to give off the impression that he was intently reading. Joey was looking at him, contemplating whether or not he should start a conversation. Nonetheless, in his mind, Ross was praying that Joey didn't. He didn't want to hear about how great he and Phoebe were getting along and how 'amazing it is to come home and be able to just have sex just because your wife is there'. 

Clearly, Joey and Phoebe were getting along much better than he and Rachel. Joey and Phoebe were sharing a bed, while Rachel refused to give even so much as a look in Ross' direction. They had been married for a week now, yet Ross made no progress with her, whatsoever. In fact, since their "date", she seemed to be going all out to avoid contact with him as much as possible. Dinners consisted of Ross talking to Emma, Emma attempting to talk to Rachel, and Rachel giving short, distant answers. He wished he could reach out to her, somehow. Perhaps, he just needed to give it more time. _More time,_ he realized, _will probably just make things worse. _

"Ross?" Joey questioned. 

He looked up from his magazine, peeved that his thoughts had been interrupted.  

"Umm…wanna go to the Knicks game on Friday?"

"No, sorry, I have plans," Ross lied.

"Oh, okay. I guess I'll just…ask Chandler."

"Okay."

Ross went back to his magazine for a few moments, before being interrupted once more.

"How are things going for you?" 

"Great! Just…great! You?"

"Same here. The married life is _something else_, isn't it?"

"Oh, yeah, it's…something all right." 

"So, uh, how's Rachel?"

"Great! Just…great!"

"Great," Joey mumbled.

"What's wrong?"

Joey laughed. "Nothing's wrong! Nothing at all! I've never been happier in my entire life!"

"Same here."

"Good."

"No, _great_." 

Silence overtook them, as Ross went back to reading his magazine. Joey, in turn, looked out the window and sighed softly. Ross was so lucky. Things were going well for him and Rachel. Of course, they had dated before and even had a kid together. It just made sense that things were working out between them, since they had such a huge history. Well, he had to look on the bright side of things. Rachel would've never let him sleep with her on their first night together.

Still, he couldn't help but wonder how things would be different if the girls had never switched backups – if _he _had been Rachel's backup. Maybe they could've fallen madly in love and lived happily after. But, he was being foolish. He had Phoebe. Phoebe who…seemed incredibly distant lately. Whenever he looked at her, her eyes pointed towards the ground and whenever he'd speak to her, she'd reply with short, quiet responses. They would sleep together every night, yet it was always at his request, never hers. Maybe he should stop asking for sex. Perhaps, that was what forcing her to become so distant. 

Joey was jostled out of his thoughts by the door opening and two familiar voices filling the air. He looked towards the door, and saw Phoebe and Rachel hang up their coats and then walk towards the orange couch, all the while smiling and laughing. Their smiles faded, however, when they noticed the two men sitting in front of them. Ross and Joey greeted them monotonously, and they greeted their husbands back in the same manner. Then, the women ordered coffees and sat down on opposite armchairs, an awkward air forming at their presence. No one spoke as they sipped coffee slowly, each wondering how much longer until they could leave the coffee house without seeming rude. 

After ten minutes, the silence was still thick, and that awkwardness had only grown stronger as the minutes droned on. Ross finally decided it would be fine for him to leave, if he said he had to pick up Emma from his parents house (that is, if Rachel didn't remember that they were expecting him at 9:00 and it was only 7 at the moment). They had been sitting there for ten minutes already. Plus, the awkward silence was killing him. He experienced enough of that when he and Rachel were in a room together at home. He didn't want to deal with it when they were out of the house, too. However, before he got the chance to stand up, the door swung open. 

The four friends all looked towards the door, grateful for the interruption. Chandler smiled at them, as he set the little girl in his arms on the floor, and took off her jacket, then his overcoat. They watched him sigh and stick his head out the door. A minute later, Monica entered, holding the hands of her son and older daughter. Rachel and Phoebe scowled, turning away from the door angrily. 

Chandler walked over to where the rest of the friends were seated, although Monica stubbornly sat at a small table on the other side of the room. Chandler turned his head and motioned for her to come over, but she hissed 'no', so he turned back towards their friends.

"Chandler!" Joey greeted enthusiastically, before rising and encompassing him in a tight embrace. 

After a shocked moment, Chandler pulled back and gave him a disturbed look. 

Joey smiled and looked down at his feet sheepishly, "I missed you."

Chandler nodded and raised his eyebrows. "I could…tell." 

"So, Chandler," Rachel interrupted loudly, "What are _you _doing here?"

"Getting some coffee…"

Phoebe threw him an impatient look. 

"And I believe," He looked back at Monica, "Someone here has something to say to say to you." 

Monica made no motion to rise, so Chandler sighed and walked over to her, then nudged her towards them. 

Monica looked down and mumbled, "I'm sorry that I wasn't more supportive."

Phoebe and Rachel exchanged looks. 

"It's okay," Rachel admitted after a moment. 

"Good!" Chandler sighed, "I was getting sick of hearing her complain." 

"So, uh, when's the weddings?" Monica questioned.

"Oh…we're already married," Phoebe replied casually. 

"What?!" 

Although he, too, looked shocked, Chandler whispered in her ear to be supportive.

She sighed and said, "That's…nice. I'm…happy for you guys."

"Thanks," Rachel and Phoebe answered at the same time.

She and Chandler sat down on couch, their son in between them, and each with a daughter on their lap. No one spoke for a few moments, as Chandler and Monica studied the rest of the gang curiously.

"So," Chandler began, "How goes the married life?"

"It's great," they all replied simultaneously.

Chandler laughed, "Wait until you're married for a few more years."

"What?!" Monica demanded.

"…because it gets even better!" 

Monica rolled her eyes, but chuckled along with the others.

Once the laughter died down, however, there was more silence. Ross sighed agitatedly, convinced that the rest of his life would consist of silence and awkwardness. 

After an hour and a half, everyone, aside from Rachel and Joey, left the coffee shop. Joey stayed because he wanted to allow Phoebe to get back to the apartment first, and, maybe, fall asleep before he got back. That way, he wouldn't be able to ask for sex, even if he wanted to. 

Rachel, on the other hand, stayed there in order to not have to return to her apartment with Ross. He was driving her crazy. She was beginning to regret marrying him. Although, she felt something for him, (although not sure what that something was) every time she looked at him, she wanted to scream at the top of her lungs.  She was thoroughly confused, unsure of what she wanted in the marriage. 

Joey looked at her briefly, before turning his head away from her. He knew he should think of something to say, but, ever since they kissed in Barbados, but decided not to peruse a relationship, he had been unable to start up a good conversation with Rachel. Sure, it was a long time ago, but he still felt that same uneasiness around her that he felt over 5 years ago. 

Rachel shifted uneasily in her seat. Joey's presence made her feel as if she was a teenager again. Her small, meaningless crush (as she had decided it was a long time ago) made her feel self-conscious when the two of them were alone. However, the feelings she was experiencing at the moment in the coffee house were better than the ones she felt in her own house. 

"So," Joey began uneasily, "I hear, uh, you and Ross are, uh, getting along well."

"Yeah…" Rachel agreed distantly.

"That's good."

"Yeah…"

"Did you and Phoebe have fun shopping today?"

"Yeah, it was nice."

"Buy anything?"

Rachel laughed whole-heartedly, despite her clogged brain, "Who do you think you're talking to?!" Joey looked at her blankly, "Of course I did!"

He laughed along with her, although felt a bit stupid at his denseness. Rachel grinned at Joey and moved onto the couch next to him. She took out her shopping bags and began to show him what she had bought, both grateful that the air of uneasiness had disappeared, for that conversation, at least. 

"Oh, and I got this new bracelet," continued Rachel, as she finished showing off her new purchases, "See." 

She held her wrist out to him for a moment, and Joey grasped it lightly, staring at the bracelet. Then, he dropped her wrist and instead looked up into her eyes. Rachel blushed and cast her eyes down, however, attempting to break his stare. He looked away shamefully, and that familiar awkwardness returned. 

"You know what?" Rachel began after a few more minutes of silence.

"What?" Joey asked, much too quickly.

"I'm…gonna go."

"Oh," he replied disappointedly, "Oh, okay."

"Bye."

Rachel stood up and walked slowly towards the door. Joey, however, called back to her. She turned around, willing herself not to smile at his desperate look. She had wanted him to call her back. 

"Do you, umm, want to go to a Knicks game with me on Friday?" 

Rachel smiled. "Shouldn't you be asking Ross or Chandler?"

"Well, uh, I asked Ross and he said he was busy and last time I asked Chandler to go, he had ended up bringing along Danny. As much as I love that kid, he ended up causing three men to fall down the stairs."

Rachel chuckled at the tale of Chandler and Monica's son. However, another thought struck her, which caused her to sober. "What about Phoebe?"

"Oh, Phoebe…right. I, uh, I already asked her. She said no." 

"Oh, okay then," Rachel agreed brightly, "I'll go."

"Great! I'll see you then."

"Yeah, bye."

"Bye."

Joey watched as Rachel put on her coat and left the coffee shop. He squeezed his eyes shut, attempting to swallow the guilt that suddenly encompassed him. He hadn't actually asked Phoebe if she wanted to go. In fact, he had completely forgotten about Phoebe when he was with Rachel, until she brought her up. He sighed and left the coffee house, attempting to clear his mind before he reached his apartment. 

When Joey entered his apartment, his first realization was that the television was on, but the channel was just gray snow. He walked over to find the remote, but, instead, noticed Phoebe, sprawled out on the couch. Figuring she had fallen asleep waiting for him, the guilt he felt magnified. However, he couldn't cancel on Rachel. He had to spend time with her or else he would never forgive himself. They had to fix things between them before it was too late. And, it wasn't as if anything was going to happen between them. Not only did she not have feelings for him, but neither did he anymore (well, he tried to convince himself that, anyway). They were merely friends going to a basketball game together. That was all. Joey turned off the television, before he scooped Phoebe up in his arms and carried her into the bedroom, never noticing the empty bottle of rum that had rolled under the couch. 

Okay, that's a wrap for chapter 4. Thanks for reading! Hope people still like this fic. Please click that little button on the bottom of your screen to review and make me happy! Thanks.:) To be continued soon… 


	5. Chapter 5

**_The Pact_** – chapter 5

**A/N: **Hey! I'm back. Thanks for all the reviews, people. It's good to see people expressing their opinions of how a fic should go – it shows people are truly interested. So, really, thank you so much for that. From the sounds of…almost every review…you guys don't want Rachel and Joey together.:p Hmm…maybe I should change my ending then…muwhahahahahaha! Kidding. Although, I don't want to give even this much away, I also don't want people to stop reading, just because they don't like Rachel and Joey or Ross and Rachel together. So, here's my hint. **DON'T READ ANY MORE OF THIS A/N IF YOU DON'T WANT A SLIGHT SPOILER FOR THIS FIC.** Ok, I warned you…:p There will be both, but one will probably be more satisfying than the other *coughs*rossandrachel*coughs* Ok, if you didn't get my totally not obvious clue, (lol, right) then, too bad, cause I can't say anymore. So, if you're unwilling to see Rachel with either Ross or Joey (for a short amount of time) then, I would suggest not continuing to read this fic. I don't appreciate when people review and tell me that my story sucks because I have too much of a certain relationship that they are against. Am I making _any _sense whatsoever? Anywho, after all that explaining fun, read, review, and hopefully enjoy!:)

"You're going out tonight," Ross questioned angrily, "Yet, you didn't care to tell me?!"

"Why do I have to tell _you _every little thing about _my_ life?!"

"Well, you aremy wife."

"So what?! I don't have freedom because I'm the woman?!"

"No, that's not what I meant! You're putting words in my mouth! What I mean is, we have a daughter. Take responsibility for her once in a while."

Rachel shook her head reproachfully. "Are you implying that I don't take care of our daughter as much as you do?" 

"Lately, yes."

"What? When have I _not _been there?!"

"Yesterday, _you _were supposed to pick her up from school, but you didn't. I got a phone call, 40 minutes after the school's dismissal, asking where you were. I had to pick her up instead!"

"Ok, so it was one time…"

"One time?! You barely even speak to her anymore!"

Rachel clenched her jaw shut, scowling at Ross. She was at a loss of words. How could he say that?! She took care of Emma just as much, if not more than Ross did! He was just being ungrateful. At the moment, though, she wanted more than anything to scream at Ross. Her body was crying out for her to just slam him to the floor, but she restrained herself. Instead, she shook her head once more and left the apartment.

Ross stared at the door from which Rachel had exited moments ago. He hadn't meant to lose his temper, but lately, Rachel had been acting so peculiar. It not only aggravated him, but scared him as well. He knew it was his fault that she was feeling…whatever it was she was feeling. All of his attempts to make the marriage work were beginning to seem fruitless. There was something wrong with her – _something_. But what? He sighed and plopped down on the couch, leaning his head back and shutting his eyes in an effort to clear his mind. 

After sitting in that same position for two minutes, Ross opened his eyes when he felt someone's gaze upon him. After opening them, he saw Emma staring at him questioningly. He opened his arms for her, and, after a moment's hesitation, she jumped into her father's strong embrace. As he rocked her back and forth gently, he felt a tinge of guilt tug at his heart. Perhaps, he had exaggerated about Rachel neglecting Emma so much. Sure, she had forgotten to pick their daughter up yesterday, but maybe he had crossed the line when he said that she ignored Emma. Besides, it wasn't fair for him to use their daughter as an excuse to get angry at what he saw as Rachel's lack of effort in their marriage. Plus, putting the child in the middle of an argument between parents could be scaring. He hugged Emma closer and kissed her head, hoping she hadn't overheard their argument. Unfortunately, he wasn't so lucky. 

"Why were you and mommy yelling before?" she questioned, voice muffled by her father's shirt. 

"We were just having a tiny argument."

"Was it about me?"

"A little, but don't worry. It was nothing big."

"Why were you fighting then?"

"Don't worry about it – your mommy and I are just working through some problems. It'll be over soon."

"Promise?"

"I..." he looked down at his lap, "I can't make that promise. I can promise you that I'll try, though."

Emma nodded, before laying her head upon his shoulder once more. Ross wrapped his arms around her again, taking solace in his daughter's presence. Even if Rachel wouldn't make an effort to get their marriage to work, he would – for Emma's sake. She was the only thing in his life that seemed to make any sort of sense whatsoever, and therefore, refused to let her down. 

Joey sat in the stands, eyes locked on the basketball game in front of him, yet his body turned towards Rachel, at his right. Every so often, he would mutter an explanation of the game to her, as she nodded along, pretending to understand the game's rules and recognize the numbers of the players below. As the game went on, Rachel was unable to completely focus her attention upon it, though. Thoughts of her fight with Ross continued to flood her mind. Why were relationships so difficult for her, especially with Ross? She used to think that the fact she and Ross fought quite a bit in their relationship just meant that they were passionate about the small things in their relationship. And, they only cared about those small things because they loved each other so much and wanted to make their relationship become as close to perfect as possible. However, after Ross had cheated on her, (or, according to him, they had technically been on a break, although she never believed that) that illusion was shattered, and she became unable to live by it ever again. The fights weren't as hurtful when she had believed they were improving their relationship. Now, however, they just proved to be upsetting and a nuisance in everyday life. 

_Why am I focusing on this?_ _I should just enjoy the game and my time **away **from Ross. _However, no matter how hard she attempted to concentrate on the game, she still couldn't rid her mind of her and Ross' fights. And then, to top it all off, she was vividly aware of Joey's presence beside her, making her feel uneasy. That relationship had been over before it even started – there was no denying that. She wished they could've at least given it a shot, though. Just once, she wanted to see what it was like to be with Joey, for a change. However, fear, on both sides, kept her away. She feared failure, while he feared losing Ross' friendship. Yet, she couldn't blame him. She and Ross had this vast history between the two of them. How could Joey compete with that, even if he wanted to?

Still, as she bit her bottom lip and looked at Joey, she noted that she wouldn't mind kissing him again. Just that thought sent a burning sensation through her body, and she intook a sharp breath, hoping to steady her nerves. How could he still do this to her, even after six years? When she looked at Ross, she didn't feel this rush of lust wash over her. However, Joey…he was new, forbidden. Something she never thought she'd have ever again, after being a mother for eight years. He indirectly contained memories of youthful excitement for Rachel. Oh, what she wouldn't give for another scandalous fling, or even just one night of unbridled passion with a man. Joey. She breathed in deeply, trying to recall the last time she had felt that way. _Probably the night Emma was conceived_, she realized dully. 

"Hey, you enjoying the game?" Joey asked, finally turning away from the floor.

"Yeah, it's great. Thanks for taking me."

"No problem. Glad to have ya."

"Thanks."

He smiled and turned back to the game. Rachel, however, had other plans.

"Has, uh, Ross mentioned anything about our marriage?"

Joey continued to stare at the floor, and, just as Rachel assumed he hadn't heard and was about to ask again, he turned to face her.

"No, he hasn't. Why?"

"No reason. Just…curious."

"Oh. You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Positive."

"All right, but if you ever need to talk –"

Instead of finishing his sentence, Joey turned away and cheered excitedly as a basket was scored. 

"So, how are you and Phoebe holding up?" she asked, a bit too enthusiastically.

He turned back and raised his eyebrows questioningly at her tone of voice. "Why? Did she say anything to you?"

"No, nothing. I actually haven't talked to her since last week at the coffee house."

"Yeah, me neither."

"What?! Don't you _live_ with her?"

Joey blushed slightly. "It's just…she's been kinda…distant lately."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I wish I knew what to do." 

"Maybe she'll come around."

"I hope so." 

There was a pause in the conversation, but, just when Joey was about to turn back to the game again, Rachel blurted, "I still have feelings for you."

Joey stared at Rachel blankly, as she covered her mouth in complete shock. How could she have just blurted something like that out so haphazardly? 

She looked down, blushing profusely. "I'm sorry."

"Wha – what?" 

"Nothing."

"You still have feelings for me?"

"Yes!" she groaned miserably. 

"Wow, that – I totally wasn't expecting that."

"Yeah, well, neither was I."

"Well, um, what kind of…feelings…are these?"

"I don't know. How do you describe feelings?"

"Well, do you - do you love me?"

She looked away. 

"I see."

"It's just…I have these different feelings for Ross, and I don't know what they are, either. I'm just so confused right now."

"You're attracted to me, physically," he began slowly, "And Ross, emotionally."

"That's bullshit!" she yelled, "How could you know that just from what I told you?"

However, the rational side of her mind was thinking along the lines of the same thing, although she refused to voice that to Joey.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I just assumed," he looked away, "It doesn't matter, anyway."

"What?"

"We're married now. _Married_."

"I know."

"Besides, we're in the past. We can't go back to the past."

"I – we…yeah, you're right."

"I'm sorry."

"Urgh, I've made it awkward now, haven't I?"

Joey shrugged helplessly. "Wanna go home?"

"Yes, please."

The two left the stadium, Joey barely realizing that he was actually walking out of a Kicks game in the middle. He had other, more important and stressing things on his mind at the moment. Rachel still felt something for him! He hadn't been expecting that. _Damn, _he realized, _It's gonna be a lot harder to hide my feelings now that I know she still likes me_. He glanced at Rachel, who was looking out the window of the taxi cab. Momentarily, he wondered what she was thinking. What did she want? Did she want him to whisper words of affection in her ears and gaze into her eyes? Was she yearning for him to hold her, to kiss her, to make love to her? The curiosity was beginning to drive him mad. Before this, he had merely assumed she wasn't thinking of him in _that _light at all. Now, however, everything changed, and his heart was, yet again, on the run from heartbreak. 

When the taxi pulled up to Rachel's apartment building, Joey nodded goodbye to her, while she waved slightly. Then, he watched her walk away. He was unable, however, to form any coherent thoughts or suitable words of conversation. Instead, he waited until she was out of sight, before walking towards his apartment building in the other direction. 

Upon entering his apartment, he found a pile of blankets and pillows on the floor, although Phoebe was no where in sight. He shrugged, before going into the refrigerator and pulling out a piece of pizza that had been sitting in there since the beginning of the month. He studied it for a moment, sniffed it, then scowled. However, despite its age and staleness, Joey took a big bite of the pizza slice, before walking into his bedroom. He still didn't see Phoebe. Wondering where she would have gone, (since she hadn't left the apartment for almost a week now) he came back into the living room, sat down on the barkalounger, and turned on the television. 

After channel surfing and finding nothing of interest, he shut off the television and got up, intent on going to sleep. Instead, he turned to the spare room, upon hearing muffled cries. When he opened the door, he saw Phoebe, wrapped in a white robe, eyes puffy and pink brimmed, hugging herself tightly. Silently, he walked over and put his arms around her shoulders. Neither said a word, as she continued to look out the window. He kissed her hair gently and Phoebe sniffed, before he took the bottle of wine out of her hands. 

"I don't want you to drink so much anymore," he whispered, "It's not good for you."

"I'm not drinking that much."

"Fine, but still –"

"Okay."

There was a pause, as Joey put down the bottle and rewrapped his arms around her. Phoebe made no attempt to begin a conversation, or even to acknowledge his presence. She couldn't figure out what was wrong with her. Why was she so messed up, when it came to serious relationships? It was popular, within the gang, to joke about Chandler being the commitment phobic one. Yet, who was the one who got married first? Who was the one with a fulfilling marriage and three children? The only reason no one (including Phoebe) had realized her fear of commitment was because she had never been in a truly serious relationship before. 

Aside from Mike, all of her relationships had ended before a few months, or, at the most, a year. Sure, once in a while, some of those same men would come back for a fling, but it was never serious. Her only serious relationship was Mike, but she had dumped him when things got too serious. However, now, she realized she couldn't get out of this marriage of hers. Even though she prided herself on being self-confident, she hated the looks people gave her when she said she was 40 and single. If possible, that felt even worse than being trapped in this marriage of hers.

She had been an independent soul all of her life. Even as a mere teenager, she lived on the streets and fended for herself. Without a mother, a child learns independence early – that had been the case in her life. In relationships, however, she had to give up that independence and share her life with someone else. Every night, she would sleep with the same man, only to wake up beside him the very next morning and repeat that same sequence over and over again. That thought made her soul yearn to free itself from the incarceration that this marriage brought upon her. 

Day after day she tried to break free from that wretched pain within her, using the only medicine she could think of – alcohol. Maybe she had told Joey she wouldn't drink anymore, but she had lied. She couldn't do that – life would be impossible otherwise. Plus, what gave him the right to tell her what to do? After all, he was still in love with Rachel – she could see it by the way he looked at her. If he couldn't put all of his attention into their relationship, then she felt no need to respect his wishes in return.

Joey and Phoebe continued to look out the dark window in silence – eyes drawn to the outline of the apartment building next door, glowing in the close distance. Both of them were hung up on different problems, yet they had the same thought in their minds. Was this marriage a mistake after all?

**A/N: **Ok, that's all. Thanks for reading! Please leave me a review. Hey Yen!! Welcome home! (lol, I just realized I never mentioned u anywhere…ouch, I'm gonna pay for _that _in the morning) To be continued soon…


	6. Chapter 6

**_The Pact_** – Chapter 6

**A/N: **_Hey, back again! Thanks for all the great reviews. This will probably be my last update before…before…school starts! *sobs* Unlike some Yennish type people, I am **not **looking forward to it **at all**. Oh well, I had a hell of a lot of time off to do nothing, and now, I havta spend my last days of freedom doing SAT work *coughs*likeanhourofit*coughs* and beginning to choose…colleges! AHH! I'm not old enough, damnit! Haha, if this is me at the very start of Jr. year, can u imagine how I'll be at the end of it?! Anyways, I probably gave away too much about this story, but whatcha gonna do? I seemed to be doing a lot of talking I should've had done last week. Oh, and for those of u who have been asking for more Monica and Chandler moments, I really would include them, but I don't want to drag this fic out. I hate when fics are dragged out. I'll try to include them more, but I just couldn't fit them in. Anyways, on with the show. Please read and review, thanks! _

Rachel returned to her apartment feeling more confused than ever. Not only that, but all the confusion was eating away at her so much, that it came off as anger within her. Everything in her life was backwards! She had a child _before _she got married, but _after _she broke up with the father of her child. Then, she finally got married, after longing for it for so long, and now, she wasn't even sure if that was what she wanted, after all. 

Then, there was Joey. The man had been in love with her for so long – or so he claimed. But, if that were the case, then why would he turn her down? _Loyalty to his friends,_ a voice in her head answered, _he turned you down because he cares about Ross and Phoebe – and you should, too_. She knew it was true. Under any other circumstance, Joey most likely would have jumped at the chance of helping her figure out her feelings, especially if there was a chance it could end happily for him. Still, when their best friends were involved, Joey stuck to his morals and continued to be the good friend to everyone. She loathed him for that. She didn't think she would've have done the moral thing, otherwise. 

Rachel entered her apartment, heading straight for her bedroom. She noticed Ross out of the corner of her eye, but pretended she didn't. She was in no mood to talk to him. If she did, she knew she would snap at him. Still, he was able to tell she was feigning ignorance, and stood up in front of her, blocking any chance of passage. 

"Ross!"

"No, I'm not moving until you tell me where you've been."

Rachel laughed sardonically. "You can't tell me what to do."

Ross didn't answer, but shot her a piercing, unwavering glare. 

"I'm not going to tell you, so why don't you just let me through. Save yourself a lot of time and energy."

"No," he paused and continued softly, "I don't understand why you won't just _tell me_. Is it something you shouldn't be doing?"

"Are you accusing me of cheating?!"

"You said it, not me."

"You two timing, double crossing –"

"Hey, I didn't say it!"

"But you were thinking it!"

"Oh, and now I'm not allowed to think anything?!"

"Not when it comes to this!"

"You know what, Rachel, go ahead! Go do whatever the hell you want, I don't give a damn!"

"Thank you!"

Ross moved to the side of the doorframe, and Rachel stormed past him wordlessly. She then entered her room and slammed the door shut, the entire floor vibrating with its force. Ross slowly moved to the couch, his body quivering with pent up anger. He sunk down to the couch and let his head fall backwards limply. He didn't know how much longer he would be able to put up with Rachel's constant irritability. It was as if no matter what he did or said, he would upset her, almost as if she was deliberately finding reasons to become enraged by him.  

Was she cheating on him? That thought had entered his mind before Rachel said it, too, but he had never actually dwelled upon it. He figured, considering how angry she had become with him after becoming convinced that he had cheated on her, (_although I did not_, he argued in his mind) that she would never do that to someone else. Then again, since she thought he had cheated on her, maybe she justified her actions upon that.  Perhaps, she was fighting fire with fire. Ross felt a scouring pang of jealousy shoot through his body. He would find out who she was cheating on him with, if it was the last thing he ever did. 

Before he could dwell upon his newfound revelation, he was brought back down to reality by a small voice calling him. He turned around and noticed Emma, just as she hopped upon his lap. She was wearing a pink Barbie doll nightgown, and was hugging a small, brown bear to her chest. Ross put his arms around Emma, and held her protectively. She knew that her parents had fought again, but she also knew better than to ask. After all, she would receive no true answer. Instead, she held onto her father and allowed his gentle humming to lure her back to sleep. He would protect her. He would make everything right again. They were both sure of it.

Phoebe watched Joey finish his breakfast, as she brought an occasional forkful of pancakes to her mouth, and forced herself to nibble at them slowly. She couldn't eat anymore. She couldn't eat anything anymore. What was the point of eating, anyway? It didn't seem logical to eat just to keep her alive in this pool of wretched misery she called life. Everyday, it became harder and harder to keep her head up. With every passing moment, it became more and more difficult to feign happiness. She was trapped in a corner she couldn't remember ever getting into in the first place. 

She continued to watch as Joey shoved the last half of his fifth pancake into his mouth, and then threw his dishes into the sink. After that, he said goodbye, kissed her on the cheek, and left the apartment. Normally, Phoebe would ask why he had become so distant all the sudden. However, at that moment, she had little right or reason to care. If he was distant, than she was a million paces behind him. 

Chucking her full plate into the sink, Phoebe headed towards the exit of the apartment, forcing herself to leave for work. However, she stopped in the middle of the room. What was the point of going to work, anyway? It was just one big commercial industry, feeding on worthless souls, like hers. Still, she used to love it. The peace she brought upon people with her magical hands made her feel useful; made her feel special. However, now, she just couldn't care anymore. 

She threw down her purse and hopped onto the kitchen counter. After rummaging in a high cabinet for a few moments, she jumped down, bottle of alcohol in her hands. Then, she plopped down on the floor, right in the middle of the apartment, and took a swig of the drink. The familiar burning sensation passed through her throat and down to her stomach, and she felt the one thing that made her life bearable begin to kick in. The fire of passion she once carried in her eyes was finally extinguished. 

Rachel paced the length of her living room a few times. What had she done? She was crazy. What would she do now? She couldn't believe what she about to do. She wanted to make herself stop – to grab a hold of her impulsive side and shake it out of her…yet, she couldn't. She had to do this. She would never forgive herself otherwise. 

There was a soft knock on the door. Rachel stopped pacing and froze in her spot. It was time. She was going to do it. She had to do it. There was no time to think anymore, no time to worry about repercussions - just time to grab a hold of this opportunity. With a shaky hand, she gripped the cool, brass doorknob and turned it, swallowing that lump that formed in her throat. 

"Hey, Rach," Joey began, as he walked inside "You said you needed me for someth -"

Rachel cut him off by kissing him hard on the lips. He fell backwards onto the closed door out of shock. After a moment, her lips left his and she stepped back and stared at him. Then, she looked away sharply upon noticing the reproachful look in his eyes. 

"I'm sorry, Joey," she mumbled, "It's just…"

She stopped talking when she noticed him studying her intently. He seemed to be taking in every little detail about her, like a sponge on a droplet of water. She looked up at him with curious eyes. 

Joey licked his dry lips and spoke in a nervous, raspy voice. "Just this once?"

"Yes," Rachel answered urgently.

"Okay," he replied, before grabbing her by the waist and kissing her deeply. 

Dun dun duuuuuun. Sorry, don't mind me, I've been wanting to do that for a while now.;) Oh, and Yen, hem hem, I'm almost done the book!;) I'm gonna miss my summer of the Harry Potters. (read all 5 for the first time in the past 2 months) Haha, anyways, please leave me a review, thanks! 


	7. Chapter 7

**_The Pact_** – Chapter 7

_There are way too many spiders around. Seriously, I was walking home from school on Thursday and I walked right into a spider web. Then, today, I got into the shower and there was a spider drowning. Dumb things. *shudders* They give me the creeps more now than ever thanks to Harry Potter! Anyways, how've u all been?;) Ok, I hope this chapter isn't crap, but school is mean and takes up a hell of a lot of my brainwaves. So, onward… please read and review, thanks!:) _

**_This chapter is dedicated to my amazing little high schooler, Yen. You've given me quite the fright.;) Feel better soon, hun! (Oh, and get online soon, too.:p)_**

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He held Rachel in his arms and sighed. It was amazing. It was everything he had always dreamed about. His head spun and his heart raced from more than just exertion. It was as if everything he had ever wanted in his entire life was right there, breathing lightly in his very arms. 

…And yet, nothing was right. This wasn't how he dreamed it would be! There was awkwardness, conflicting feelings for one another, and, above all, there was the ominous guilt hanging over their heads like a storm cloud. It wasn't fair! He had waited long, yet patiently for this moment, and, now that it was here, it was nothing like he dreamed it would be. This couldn't be _it_. There had to be more – something better, lurking in the distance. Yet, in the back of his head, he knew, even before she spoke, that this was, in deed _it _in its entirety. 

Rachel stirred and turned towards Joey, a bashful look upon her face. Suddenly, she was shamefully aware of the situation. _Adultery_, a voice hissed in the back of her head, _I thought you were at least above **that**_. She had betrayed her husband. She had betrayed two of her closest friends. She had betrayed her own daughter. She had persuaded Joey to do the same. Everything in her mind seemed blurred and muffled with restrained tears. The only thing that made sense was the looming anticipation of her eternal damnation, which she felt certain was waiting for her. 

"Joey, I…"

He looked down at the comforter. "Yeah?"

"I don't know about this. I mean –"

"Yeah, I know."

"We shouldnt've…I shouldnt've…"

"No, it's on both of us here. I mean I could've said no, but I didn't."

"I, well, I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it. Um, it's okay." 

He knew it wasn't going to work out. He wasn't surprised at what she had said. In fact, a part of him was relieved. Of course he wanted to be with Rachel, but he didn't want to betray Ross and Phoebe anymore. Just doing it once supplied him with enough guilt to fuel a jet plane. Still, he couldn't help but wonder…

"So, do you - do you…feel _anything_ more?" 

"I…" she looked away, "I can't lie to you. I mean I don't know…for sure. But it doesn't feel like what happened helped me much..."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry, Joey."

"No, no it's ok. Don't be."

"But –"

"Look, it's okay. I mean I," he shrugged, "I don't feel anything for you, either."

Rachel nodded, but he knew she could see right through him. She could always see right through him.  He rose and collected his clothing, Rachel's eyes fixated on the wall opposite him. It wasn't that she didn't feel _anything _for him, but it certainly wasn't enough to throw away a marriage and a friendship in order to merely attempt at a relationship. 

Blindly, she grabbed her clothes and dressed, her mind completely elsewhere. She had wanted him – on a physical level. But now…now that she had that rush of adrenaline associated with things forbidden, now that she lived the life of more than just a mother and working wife, the electric waves within her were replaced with irreversible guilt. 

She moved towards the door after Joey, only to walk straight into him. Rachel sighed and looked up, about to ask him why he had stopped, when her breath was caught in her lungs. She arrived just in time to see the angry glance thrown towards her and Joey, before the door slammed shut and they were left alone once more. Slowly, the two turned towards each other, sharing horrified looks. Then, Joey twisted swiftly on his heel, and ran from the apartment. Rachel looked down at her feet, shamefully.

Joey ran as fast as his legs would let him. He was barely aware of the movement, though. His eyes were cast straight ahead as he desperately searched for a familiar face in the crowd of the busy Manhattan street. No such luck. He slowed his pace and stood still, huffing, for a minute. Then, he surveyed his surroundings once more, before retreating to his apartment dejectedly. 

When he entered the apartment, he was more than ready to just throw himself in bed. Too much had happened in the past few hours. Thoughts were flying through his brain at the speed of light. He needed to just forget it all and sleep. Barley lifting his feet off the ground, he headed straight for his bedroom. However, he stopped when he noticed something suspicious lying on the couch. He raised his eyebrows and slowly crept forward. As he got closer, he noticed the blond hair hanging over the edge of the couch and sighed. She had been there after all! 

For a moment, he thought of not waking her, but he knew he had to talk to her. Hoping she wouldn't run away before allowing him to explain everything, he went over and shook her lightly. 

She didn't stir.

He moved closer and shook her harder.

Nothing.

"Phoebe?" 

Then, he noticed the empty bottle on the floor and lost all traction below him.

Rachel paced the length of her apartment's living room nervously. She didn't know what to do, what to say, when Ross came back. Should she be honest? Should she just admit to everything and allow him to see he had been right all along? That she _had _been cheating on him, even when she told him she hadn't. Well, she actually hadn't been cheating on him then, but that wouldn't matter at the moment. The only thing that mattered is she _had_ cheated, even just once.

On the other hand, she hated when Ross was right. It drove her crazy. He was always so _smug _about things. She didn't want him to have that advantage lurking over her all her life. Then again, how much would he even want her included in her life is she did tell him the truth? 

Emma. She was the reason he couldn't cut Rachel out of his life. On the other hand, he still could. He could try to take Emma away from her! But mothers always won child custody cases – didn't they? _They might not if they had committed adultery. _

Still, even if they did still speak, how could she put her daughter through that? Ross would always feel some spite towards Rachel, and there would always be tension between them. Emma would be forced to choose sides, and that would not be fair to her.  

She didn't know what to do.

The door opened and Rachel turned violently towards it, startled. Ross entered with a dark expression on his face. He looked up at Rachel, eyes passing over her until they focused on the wall behind her. Curious, she took a step towards him. He didn't move his eyes.

"I dropped Emma off at my mom's."

"Okay, but um, why?"

He shrugged. 

Ross, what's – what's wrong?"

"It's," he swallowed, eyes unfocused, "It's Phoebe."

Okay, we're getting to the finishing line…sorta. Hopefully, I'll find more time/energy to update soon. Thanks for the great reviews last chapter. Please review again, thanks!:) 


	8. Chapter 8

**_The Pact _**– Chapter 8

_OMG, I had my first driving lesson with an instructor today. I was so fricken nervous. I've never driven with anyone, aside from my parents, before. The guy had this really strong accent, too, and I could barely understand him. At one point, he was telling me how he was gonna take cones out of the trunk so I could practice parallel parking, and I made him repeat it 3 times before I heard "cones" instead of "curb" lol. Fun stuff. Fuuun stuff. Anyways, yeah, I don't really have anything to say about this chapter. Please read and review, thanks!:)_

Ross and Rachel entered the hospital waiting room, both panting breathlessly. Immediately upon entering, Monica walked towards them with watery eyes. She hugged Ross, and then Rachel silently, before heading back to her seat. Rachel and Ross followed her and sat down in two small blue chairs, next to hers. For the first two minutes, Rachel alternating between biting and licking her bottom lip, while Ross shook his right leg nervously. Finally, he turned to Monica with questioning eyes, although he didn't dare speak the words.

"Nothing," Monica stated simply. 

Ross nodded and turned back, staring at the wall before him. 

"So, uh," he continued, "Did you drop your kids off with mom and dad?"

"Yeah, right after you dropped off Emma."

Ross nodded again, and licked his dry lips. "Where's Chandler?"

"He's, uh, with Joey. Trying to…ya know…calm him down."

"Oh. Oh, ok." 

Rachel listened to Monica and Ross as they continued to make small talk. She, however, could not listen to what they were saying. She felt so guilty. How could she have been so selfish, so stupid, such a terrible friend? No matter how she did the math, it was her fault Phoebe was lying in some cold hospital bed, completely unconscious. 

Even though there had been two people in that bed, there was only one person doing the seducing. She was the one who could resist; Joey, on the other hand, felt too much for Rachel to deny her. Not only had she betrayed Phoebe, but she used Joey, as well. She used him in order to quell of physical need for him. She had craved to do something different with her life, and she, indeed had. Even within the warmth of the hospital waiting room, Rachel shuddered involuntarily. She became someone she had never been before. A cheater.   

Joey paced back and forth in front of the bare hospital door, waiting anxiously for something – _anything _– to happen. Waiting without knowing what was going to happen was driving him mad. He needed something to happen – something to let him know Phoebe was okay. 

The guilt he felt continued to build up with every passing moment. _If I had just been a better husband – a better friend._ He should have been there for her more. He should have acknowledged her problem and then helped her through it, instead of looking the other way. Most of all, he should not have cheated. He should have resisted his desire. Then, Phoebe would still be conscious, still be happy, and most of all, still be…_Phoebe. _But, she was going to be okay, though. She had to be okay. Didn't she?

As Joey turned this question over in his mind, he looked at Chandler, who was sitting on one of the chairs that lined one side of the hall. Judging solely by his look, Chandler guessed what question Joey was silently asking him. He sighed and got up slowly, looking Joey straight in the eyes. 

"She's gonna be okay." 

"I know. I mean she has to be. I mean…" he paused and began to pace once more, "I don't know." 

"She is."

"But how do you know?"

"I just do."

Joey turned away and silently studied the bleak wall to his right. "That's not enough anymore." 

"What's not enough?"

"Just knowing." Joey turned violently to face Chandler, "Just knowing that something's going to be okay, isn't enough! How do you know?!"

Chandler stared at Joey, taken a back by his sudden angry outburst. Joey turned away once more, now ashamed of his anger as well, but unable to apologize. Chandler watched the side of Joey's dark head, as he ran a nervous hand through his hair. 

"Well, honestly" he began in a low tone, "I don't _know _that she's going to be okay. I don't know for sure, no. But I have this feeling she'll be. I have faith in –"

"Faith in who? God?!" Joey shook his head reproachfully, "God can be cruel."

"No, not God. I wasn't gonna say God."

"Yeah? Then what else can you have faith in? The doctors? Medicines? Huh?! They all fail, Chandler!"

"No, I don't have faith in the doctors, I don't have faith in the medicines, none of that. I have faith in something _much _more powerful."

"Ok, then _what _do you have faith in?"

Chandler sat back down, although never broke eye contact with Joey. "I have faith in _Phoebe_." 

Joey swallowed hard and stared at Chandler blankly.  He had never thought of it that way before. However, the more he contemplated Chandler's words, the more they made sense. He had to stop worrying so much. She was, after all, one of the strongest people he knew. Fate was out of his hands. It was up to Phoebe, now. 

"Yeah, yeah. You're right. I have faith in her. I do."

"Good," Chandler rose and clapped Joey lightly on the shoulder. "There's no use standing out here getting in these nurse's way. How 'bout we get some coffee."

Joey nodded slowly. "Coffee sounds good."

"Good."

Chandler turned to his right and walked down the corridor. Joey stared at Phoebe's door for a moment longer, before following Chandler's disappearing figure down the hall. 

After sitting in relative silence for a half an hour, Ross declared that he was going to find Joey and Chandler. Monica rose, intending to follow him, when Rachel grabbed her arm. Monica turned around and sat back down, questioning Rachel with her eyes.

"Can we talk?"

"Yeah, sure. What's up?"

"I, uh, well…hmm."

Rachel hadn't quite thought of how she would introduce the topic of the past few weeks to Monica. Aside from Monica's tendency to be overly critical of her friends' wrongdoings, it was Ross – Monica's _brother - _that she had betrayed. Normally, Rachel would have brought a situation like this to Phoebe. However, that was obviously out of the question for this situation. Still, she was so conflicted. She needed advice. Therefore, she gritted her teeth and continued. 

"What is it, Rach?"

"Well, uh, would you ever cheat on Chandler?"

Monica looked completely stunned by the nature of Rachel's question, and, Rachel had actually been stunned, too. She hadn't meant to ask such a blunt question. It had just magically rolled off her tongue. 

"Of course I would _never _cheat on Chandler! Why would you even think that?!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm just wondering if it's ever okay to cheat on a spouse."

"No, of course it's not okay," Monica stared at Rachel incredulously, "How could that be okay? It's adultery!"

'Yeah, no, I know that. It's just…what if the person is unbearably unhappy in their relationship?" 

"Well, then they talk to their spouse and see if anything can be done to make things better. If not, then it probably isn't worth staying married, anyhow." Monica paused, "Chandler didn't…put you up to this or –"

"NO! Oh God, honey, no! I'm sorry, I was just wondering."

Monica put a hand to her chest and sighed. "Okay, I was pretty sure, but well, you got me thinking for a moment…"

"No! No! If only all marriages could be as great as yours!"

Monica smiled, despite the dreary situation. "Well, then what's spurring on this curiosity?"

"Nothing. Just curious. Do I really need a reason to be curious?"

"Well, no. It's just…usually, something spurs it on, that's all."

"Nope, nothing. Just wondering."

"Okay, I see. Well, I'm gonna go see wh–"

"Wait!"   

"What?" Monica asked, a hint of exasperation apparent in her tone.

"I have another question."

"Okay?" 

"Now, what if this person happened to _have _cheated on their spouse. What would you suggest then? Should they tell their hus – err, spouse or just leave it in the past?"

Monica raised her eyebrows suspiciously. "I would recommend they _tell_ their spouse. After all, one of the pillars of marriage _is _honesty."

"But wouldn't it just make things worse between the couple?"

"Probably. But, could you image the guilt the person who cheated would feel…for the rest of his or her life?! This person would have tokeep their secret locked up deep inside them until they _die_. If it were me, I don't think I would be able to handle that."

"Yeah…I…see your point. Thanks."

"You're welcome," Monica answered, before looking wearily towards Rachel and headed out the door. 

Rachel sighed and buried her head in her hands. She hated when Monica was right. There was no way she would be able to live the rest of her life knowing that Ross never suspected a thing. She had to be honest, and change around her life before it was too late.  

When Joey returned to Phoebe's room, an hour later, he saw the door opened and a doctor standing beside her bed. Cautiously, he made his way inside, just as the doctor was heading out.

"Any change?" Joey asked.

"No, I'm sorry."

"Oh, ok. Well, thank you."

The doctor nodded somberly, before exiting the room. Joey sucked in a deep breath and walked towards the bed. He brushed a few long strands of blonde out of Phoebe's face and sighed. She looked so peaceful, with her eyes closed lightly and hair spread out underneath her body. Joey idly wondered if she really felt as peaceful as she looked. 

He sat down on the edge of the bed and grasped Phoebe's hand lightly within his own. He brushed it softly with his thumb as he stared down at their entwined hands. 

"Phoebe," he began softly, "I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm going to talk, anyway…ya know, like they do in movies? Anyway, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. Now, I know that sorry isn't going to cut it. I know that you'll hate me for the rest of your life, but I'm sorry, anyway. I'm so sorry!" Joey paused as he squeezed his eyes shut and swallowed the lump in his throat. "I'm really sorry. Just…just get better, okay? You can hate me forever, but…get better. Okay? I need you to do that. I can't live knowing you're hurt. You're one of my best friends and I love you _so _much. Just do that for me, okay? No, no, just do that for yourself. Okay?" Joey paused and focused on the foot of the bed, "This is crazy. You can't hear me, can you?" Then, he shook his head and walked out the door. 

Rachel walked through the halls aimlessly, trying to gather her thoughts. When she passed the waiting room, she noticed Ross' dark head bent forward. Taking in a deep breath, Rachel forced herself to go in and talk to him. She had to do it now, even if it wasn't the most appropriate time. She knew she would lose her nerve if she waited any longer. Slowly, she entered the waiting room and sat down next to Ross. He picked his head up and nodded at her, before looking towards the opposite wall. 

"Hey, Ross, can we, uh, talk?"

"Yeah, sure," he turned his body, as well as his head, towards her, "What's up?"

"Uh, nothing really. It's just…I just…I need to confess something to you."

"Yeah?" he gave her a quizzical look, "Rach, are you okay?"

"Yeah, it's just…you're gonna hate me after I tell you this."

"I doubt that."

"Oh, I'm not so sure."

"Well, what is it?" 

"It's just…okay," she looked down at her feet. She realized she just had to pull off the bandage in one, swift motion. "I slept with another man."

There was a pause as Ross processed the information he had just received.

"Wh – what?"

"I'm sorry."

"You cheated?"

"Yeah, I…yeah."

"I can't believe this…I knew it."

"I'm really sorry, Ross! It's just, I was feeling so lo –"

"You were feeling, yeah. You considered _your _feelings. But how about mine?!"

"I'm sorry! I made a mistake." 

"A mistake?" Ross shook his head in disbelief, "That's more than a mistake."

"What?! You slept with someone else before!"

"Hey, we were on –"

"A break, uh huh, yeah I know."

"Yeah! And, not only that, but this is totally different!"

"How?!"

"We're married!"

"SO?! Back then, we were in love! Our relationship _really _mattered! Now, we just got together because it was _easy _and it was _there. _It's not about feelings anymore!"

Ross paused and rose from his chair, before continuing, "Maybe it's not about feelings for _you_."

Then, Ross walked out of the waiting room, with not so much as a second glance at Rachel. She plopped down in one of the chairs and allowed her head to fall in her hands as she cried. 

_Okay, thanks for reading! Please review, thanks!:) Now, I have to go live it up and read Beowulf. Don't wait up.;)  (P.S. Yen: HEYYYY! YOU GOT THE DOOR OPENED!! …well, actually, what I mean to say is u got urself offline, but that ruins the line.) _


	9. Chapter 9

**_The Pact_** – Chapter 9

_Well, this is it…the last chapter. But OMG who watched the Emmys?! *dies* Well, Friends lost, so that sucked, but OMG MATTHEW AND…mmkay, not gonna say. Don't wanna ruin it. Lemme just say he looked HOT and HOT and um, what else? Oh yeah, HOT!:-D I know Yen wouldn't know. Haha!:p I'll tell u about it, hun, if you don't know already. Don't worry, have I ever left u out of the loop?! Anyways, yes,, this is the final chapter in this series. I hope the ending at least somewhat suits you all. Ok, please read and review one final time, thanks!:)_

Warm rays of morning sunlight bathed the room with a soft yellow glow. Joey stirred in the armchair, wiping the sleep from his dreary eyes. It hadn't been a restful night. Dreams full of Phoebe's horrified look and then her limp body in his arms haunted his sleep. In fact, he was almost grateful for the sun's early morning intrusion. Almost grateful, but not quite. Reality was still more gruesome than the nightmares. Joey looked hopefully over at Phoebe's bed – nothing. He sighed. Why had he been expecting anything more?

Wearily, he stretched his arms and legs, soothing the night-aches from his muscles. Slowly, he ascended from his chair, stretching again, but fully this time. He walked over to Phoebe's bed and picked up her hand. He then placed a soft kiss on it, before placing it safely within his own hand. It would be another long day.

As Joey stood beside the bed, the door opening disturbed the silence. Joey didn't bother turning to look at the one who entered, figuring it was merely a nurse doing her early-morning rounds. However, he was stunned into looking up by a clearing of a throat. Joey looked over at the doorway, curiosity overwhelming his senses. Ross was standing there stiffly, blood-shot eyes glimmering under the pale light. Joey scrutinized Ross for a minute, as he remained in the same spot at the room's entrance. 

"Hey Ross," he began cautiously, "What brings you here so early?"

Ross didn't answer, but took Joey's words as an invitation into the room. Slowly, Ross made his way towards the opposite side of Phoebe's bed, eyes cast heavily towards her pale face.

"Ross?" Joey attempted again, "Ross, are you okay?"

"Hmm," he questioned, snapping out of a daze, "Oh, yeah. Hey Joe."

"Whatsamatter?"

"Absolutely nothing."

"Right."

"So, how you holding up?"

"I'm…I'm all right," he paused, "But really, Ross, what are you doing here at 7 am?"

He shrugged. "Woke up early with nothing to do."

"You look pretty tired. You should go home and get some more sleep."

"What? Oh, no. No, no. I'm good."

"Uh, okay…" Joey conceded.

They fell into a deep silence. Joey kept his fingers entwined with Phoebe's, as Ross seemed fascinated by a stand of her hair that was out of place. Suddenly, Joey felt painfully aware of Ross' presence in the room. It wasn't that Ross was doing anything to irritate him. On the contrary, if it weren't for the light breathing from the other side of the room, it would have been nearly impossible to notice Ross' presence without looking in his direction. However, Joey couldn't help but wish to be alone while with Phoebe in her delicate state. It made him feel very self-conscious to have another person in the room. There was a very personal and deep connection that Joey experienced, as he watched Phoebe's lifeless body. 

And, of course, there was the reason to feel guilty around Ross – so incredibly guilty. That thought hadn't even crossed Joey's mind at first. Incredibly enough, he even felt guilty for not feeling guilty to begin with. _Maybe I'm going crazy, too_.

Joey broke the silence. "I'm gonna go get some coffee. You coming with or…?"

Ross contemplated his answer before slowly nodding. Then, Joey headed out the door with Ross following a few seconds behind me.

In the hospital cafeteria, Joey chose a table next to a window, amongst the clutter of gray tables. Ross sat down across from him, stirring his black coffee blankly. Joey sighed as he poured milk and cream into his cup, before stirring it lightly with a small spoon. He looked up and noticed Ross bring the completely untainted coffee to his lips. He gaped as Ross drank some of the midnight black coffee, knowing that Ross _never _usually did that. Yet, he didn't seem to notice its strength in the least bit. Something was _definitely _wrong, but what?

 "Hey, are you sure you're okay?"

Ross stared into space for a few more moments, before looking towards Joey blankly. He blinked a few times, before asking Joey to repeat the question. 

"Are you okay?" Joey questioned again, this time a bit irritated with Ross' odd behavior.

"Yeah, I am."

"No, no, you're not. You're being all…weird. What's up?"

"Nothing."

"Stop saying nothing."

Ross contemplated answering for a few moments. "Have you ever…thought things were going one way in your life, and then, you just like, blink, and it's all different?"

"I, uh, I – I guess so."

"Yeah, okay. Me too."

Joey nodded wordlessly, too afraid to prod any further. He had to know about Rachel. What else could have changed so suddenly in his life? Yet, Joey looked back at Ross, who had a pensive look upon his tired face. That man was not accusing Joey of a thing. Did he not know it had been him? For a moment, Joey pondered asking him. However, he realized that would be a bit too irrational. After all, he didn't know _for a fact _that he knew anything about Rachel's doings. He couldn't risk it. He would have to find Rachel and talk to her.

After coffee, Ross decided to take a walk around the hospital grounds. Although, in reality, it wasn't as much a decision as it was an undirected action. It was as if his muscles and limbs worked freely from his overburdened mind. He was feeling everything, yet somehow feeling nothing at all. He hated Rachel; he hated her so much for cheating. She ruined that picture of the perfect family he had hoped he would have been able to give Emma with their marriage. 

Yet, as he loathed her in his mind, he didn't hate her at the same time. She was _Rachel_ – the woman he used to believe was his soul mate. Did he believe that anymore? He wasn't sure. There was always, throughout the turmoil of their breakup so long ago, a part of him that believed _someday _they would end up together because they were meant for each other. 

And then, they were 40 and unmarried, and a small part of him had believed it was a sign. Fate. Ross shook his head absently. Fate was nothing to him anymore. If his fate was to throw him into the arms of pain, then he hated fate. He hated fate and anything that had to do with fate. He even hated himself for relying so heavily on something that didn't even exist. It was just easier to blame everything on fate than it was to blame it on his blindness. 

He approached a gray stone bench and sat down on it. Although his eyes focused on the people on the sidewalk passing him by, his mind was far from that. Instead, he stifled back the tears of betrayal that threatened to escape. What had he done to deserve this? It wasn't fair.

Joey surveyed the waiting room quickly, hoping for a glimpse of Rachel, alone. He sighed, upon not finding her for the third time in the past hour. Sure, it was still early in the morning, but he was anxious to talk to her. He turned around forcefully. Where was she? As if on cue, as he turned the corner, he saw Rachel approaching him from the other end of the corridor. Relived, he greeted her hastily and asked for a word in private. She agreed, and they went down in the elevator and out the door of the hospital. 

Once they were outside, she and Joey walked around the corner in an awkward silence. Rachel was the one brave enough to break it.

"So, what did you, uh, want to talk to me about?"

"Right, yeah," Joey agreed, blushing and looking down at his feet, "I wanted to know…humm, about…Ross."

Rachel snapped her neck up in interest. "What about him?"

"Does he…know what happened…ya know? Between us?"

Rachel bit her bottom lip. "Yeah. Yeah, he does."

Joey nodded. "I thought so."

Rachel mouthed wordlessly for a few moments. "Did he, umm, did he say anything to you about it?"

"No, not directly, anyway."

"Oh."

"He doesn't know it was…does he?"

"That it was you?" Joey nodded, "No, he doesn't. He didn't ask to know who it was, and I wasn't going to tell."

"Look, Rach, I'll take the blame for it. Uh, you wanna say I raped you? I mean…that could work right?"

"Joey!"

"What? Come on, Rachel, I don't want your marriage breaking up because of this! If it's my fault, then I lose a friend. If it's your fault, then you not only lose a friend, but your husband _and _the father of your child also!"

Rachel shook her head violently. "There were two of us there that day. I'm not letting you take all the blame, if any at all."

"Come on, Rach…"

"No, it wasn't your fault. You had said no!"

"But I shouldn't have don't it!"

"It's my fault!"

"No," Joey sighed, "Look, let's just keep it at what you said before. There were two people there that day. No one takes all the blame, then."

Rachel agreed begrudgingly. The last thing she needed was _more _guilt on her plate. 

"Was he really angry when you told him?"

She sighed dramatically. "Yeah, he seemed to be."

Joey nodded, and then they continued to walk in silence for a few moments. 

"Look," he began, "I have to tell him. I have to tell it was me."

"Joey –"

"No, I can't live my life knowing I betrayed one of my best friends and they never knew. I can't. I just can't."

"Yeah, I…I guess you're right. I understand."

Again, silence filled their conversation, as the sounds of the busy city around them became obvious in the atmosphere. As they neared the hospital and were about to turn back into the building, Rachel stopped suddenly. Joey stopped a moment after, Rachel's appearance reminding him slightly of a deer caught in headlights. Joey sucked in an unintentional breath as he noticed the person sitting on the bench before him. He was glaring at Rachel, as she looked back with tears in her eyes. Joey licked his lips and stepped forward.

"Ross?"

Ross nodded, but didn't look away from Rachel.

"Ross, can we…talk?"

His eyes still didn't leave Rachel's. "Uh huh."

"Could you, uh, look at me?"

Slowly, Ross peeled his eyes from her, and turned to Joey, mild curiosity visible amongst the bags under his eyes.

"Ross, before I…tell you this, you have to promise not to run away from me or…to hit me…or anything…until I'm through? Okay?"

"Um, sure, okay. It's not like anything could get any worse."

Rachel looked away as a single tear slid down her cheek.  

"I," he took in a deep breath and looked away. He could hear Rachel stifle a whimper. He had to just say it. "I was the one." He looked up at Ross for a response, but Ross just looked blankly at him. "I was the one who Rachel…" he mumbled the last few words, "Was with."

Ross' eyes continued to look back blankly for a few moments, until understanding overtook him and fire flashed across his dark eyes. 

"You bastard," he whispered hotly, moving towards him in a blind rage.

Joey stepped back. "Look, Ross, wait. You promised you'd hear me out!"

"After what you told me, I don't think you're the one to talk about keeping promises!"

"Look, Ross, just let me explain, okay? Please!"

"What? What could you _possibly _have to say to make this better?"

"Well, nothing to make this…better, but you have to know some things."

"Yeah, right. Like what?"

"Like, even though we were both there and we're both guilty, you shouldn't be mad at Rachel. You can hate me, you can try to kill me, I understand! But not Rachel."

"She was there, too," he replied between his teeth, "She was there and so were you."

"But Ross, she was miserable! She was confused! I'm not justifying what she did, but I'm asking you to try to understand!"

"There's nothing to understand. Cheating's never the answer. After all, she used to say that to me when I hadn't even cheated! But this…there's no way around it."

"Look, she was depressed, okay?! She's _human_          . She made a mistake! We all do! It wasn't like you two had been dating and it wasn't a regular marriage. It didn't fulfill what she had dreamed about, Ross!"

"Yeah, well, y'know, I had dreams, too."

"Yeah?" Rachel prodded quietly, "And this marriage…before the other stuff…they fulfilled it?"

"Well…yeah."

"You're telling me, you dreamt that you would marry your wife because of some dumb pact?! It was just a spur of the moment thing, Ross! I didn't want that."

His voice softened, as he moved closer. "Well, you should've told me."

"I know. I made a mistake. A really stupid one. And I'll understand if you never wanna see me again, but _please _don't take Emma away from me."

He nodded. "You did do something stupid. Really stupid. But maybe…we aren't really married. I mean I took this so seriously, but it wasn't what I wanted either. I didn't just want marriage. I wanted love." 

"So did I."

"Well," Ross gestured to Joey, but continued to look at Rachel, "Did you find it?"

She shook her head and whispered, "No."

Ross looked back at Joey for confirmation of her words. He shook his head slowly in agreement. 

"We need to get a divorce," Ross stated monotonously.

Rachel nodded and took in a shaky breath. 

"But I still want to try to be friends. We still have a daughter together. We have to be mature for her. And I could _never _take her away from you." Rachel smiled slightly in gratitude. "And who knows, maybe someday…someday I'll be able to trust you again."

Rachel nodded and hugged Ross tightly. When they broke apart, Rachel wiped a few stray tears from her cheeks and then gestured to the hospital building. "I'm gonna go back in." 

They nodded and watched as she went up the stairs.

"I'm really sorry, Ross."

He waved his hand in dismissal. "I know, save it."

Joey looked away and nodded. 

"But," he continued, "If I forgave her, I can _begin _to forgive you again."

"That would be…wow, thank you. I mean I just…I just want you to know I couldn't resist…the chance to help her see…I still, ya know? But I won't…never again, I swear."

Ross nodded slightly. "I hope so."

"Well, thanks. I'm, uh, I'm gonna go back inside, too…back to Phoebe."

"Okay. Just do me a favor?"

"Yeah?"

"Take care of Phoebe."

Joey nodded. "I wouldn't do anything else."

Without another word, Joey returned to the hospital, feeling just slightly less burdened than he had when he walked out of it an hour before. Ross watched Joey return to the building, surprised at his ability to stay calm and his ability to forgive. Still, it felt much better to forgive than to hate. 

When Joey returned to Phoebe's room, he was shocked to see a doctor and a few nurses around her bed. He had only been gone for an hour! He rushed over to the bed and looked at the doctor curiously. What could have happened? However, before anyone could answer his questioning eyes, he saw Phoebe's eyes flutter open. He was so surprised at this that he almost fell backwards in shock. She was really going to be okay.

Throughout the day, Joey had stayed in Phoebe's room, but sat at the far corner. He was afraid to speak to her, afraid to get her upset once again. He decided he would wait until she recovered more before he tried to talk to her, although he refused to leave her side. She had to know he was still there for her. 

That night, however, as he sat on the armchair, looking pensively out the window, a calling of his name brought him back to reality. Looking to the left, he saw Phoebe looking at him. His heart began to pound in his chest, as he slowly made his way to her bed. They stared at each other for a few moments, before Joey licked his pale, dry lips in preparation to speak. 

"I'm so glad to see you're awake. Everyone's really worried."

"Thanks for staying with me. Monica told me you stayed when I was in out, too."

Joey shrugged in return. "I couldn't have left you, even if I had wanted to."

Silence overtook them as Joey shuffled in his spot. He didn't want to bring up any touchy subjects with her at the moment, but, at the same time, it seemed that everything was touchy with them.

"Look, Joey," she began confidently, "I overreacted…a lot."

"No, you didn't."

"But I did. I mean I always knew you still loved Rachel," Joey blushed, but Phoebe didn't seem to notice, "I knew it, and I was okay with it. I don't know what made me get so upset. I guess I was just shocked. I mean I don't really have a right to be mad. I was never there for you – as a wife or as a friend. I was…so trapped, ya know? Maybe marriage…wasn't the right thing for me, after all." 

Joey looked down at his shoes for a few moments, as he contemplated his reply. "Well, maybe it's not that marriage isn't for you. Maybe it's the loveless marriage that makes you feel trapped."

"Yeah, but with Mike, too…"

Joey shook his head. "I don't think he was the right one, either."

"What?"

"Well, if you find that right one, then nothing else matters. You don't chicken out because you have no reason to. You love them so much that you _want _to spend the rest of your life with them. I mean look at Chandler… he was terrified of commitment, yet he's happily married."

Phoebe nodded in agreement. 

"I'll get us divorce papers tomorrow."

Phoebe nodded. "Thanks."

Joey nodded in return and shyly kissed Phoebe on the forehead. She smiled and sighed in return, giving him confidence to sit down on the edge of the bed and wrap his arms around her.

"You're gonna visit me in rehab, right?"

"Of course."

"Thanks."

"Thank you," he replied seriously, "You're such a great friend and just…an amazing and strong person. I love you."

Phoebe smiled. "I love you, too."

_The end! Okay, thanks for reading. Sorry, if it's not exactly how you wanted it to end, but I really couldn't make it all definite between everyone and lovey dovey, ya know? I think I made it pretty sappy as is, which wasn't my original intension, but I felt bad for the characters, lol. Well, you've all been great! Review one final time, please, thanks!:) _


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